You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this.



answer paper of a candidate at the recent UPSC examinations.

The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:


Indian Cow

HE IS THE COW "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed,
And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is
got
child.]

He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.

But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are
afterwards.
His whole body can be utilised for use.More so the milk.

Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any
such attachment ]
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed
milk and so forth.

Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species., Also his other
motion.. [gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for
making
flat cakes[ like Pizza ] , in hand , and drying in the sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then
afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of
the
mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only
attacking
and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child.
This
is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be
paralleled
to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity
forwards.

He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar
animals. It has hairs on theother end of the other side. This is done
to
frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he
gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is
not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and
he
shouts .

His eyes and nose are like his other relatives.

This is the cow.......